Domestic Violence Awareness

Domestic violence, whether physical or verbal, is agonizing. The amount of damaged inflicted on the victim is indescribable, often times, incurable. While there’s many reasons abusers manipulate their partner through domestic violence, none of them makes it acceptable. You don’t deserve to be violated and disrespected, he’s insecure, battling his own demons, and taking it out on you. It has nothing to do with how well the meat was for dinner or the fact that you got home a little late to finish something at work. The only way to ensure it never happens again is to leave.

Why women chose to stay? There’s no theory to this questions and leaving isn’t as simple as it may sound. Some women stay out of fear of being alone, being killed or hope that he’ll
change. Perhaps children are involved and she’s dreamt of raising her children in a two parent household but if you’re being abused, you’re hurting your children as much as your partner is hurting you. Don’t lead your daughters to assume such behavior is acceptable or your sons to think that’s the way to treat women. I had to be at about seven or eight when I began to understand the extent of what was going on in our household. I remember my mom coming home from working a double shift and my dad being livid. They argued on the porch and before I knew it, he punched my mom in her mouth so hard, she spit two teeth into the palm of her hand. I was furious, but with her. She always taught my siblings and I to defend ourselves so I couldn’t understand why she didn’t knock the hell out him. That moment I promised myself I’d never stand for a man putting his hands on me in that manner. While this was the first time I’d witnessed the physical abuse with my own eyes, it had been going on way before I was born. My dad never hit me, not even a spanking but more often than not the children become victim of the abuse as well. Teach your children that you are a mother that will defend yourself and protect them at all cost.

Verbal abuse is mental, it strips away a woman’s self-esteem and confidence making her feel unworthy and despicable. Sometimes, she’d rather be beaten because words can hurt far more than bodily harm. Even if we curse him and call him names back, we still feel insulted and disrespected. Eventually, you’ll start to believe these things he’s saying about you and feel like no one else will want you. At that point, he’s succeeded because deep down he knows you can do much better than him.

Abuse in any relationship, physical or verbal, should not be tolerated. The one time a man put his hands on me, I fought back, called the police and pressed charges. I knew I wasn’t going to take him back but I felt like I saved another woman from the same treatment or worse. If you are being abused, get out. It’s not going to get better, he’s not going to change, and you don’t deserve it. You’ll probably hear, “If you leave me, I’ll kill you” but guess what, if you stay, he’ll kill you! Unless you snap and kill him first. What I’m saying is, nothing good will come of this relationship. He don’t love himself so he couldn’t possibly love you.

When you leave, get counseling because he’s broken you. You need to piece yourself back together and heal. Trying to do it on your own could result in drug abuse to cope with what you’ve been through or you could find yourself in a similar situation. No woman deserves to be beaten or disrespected. Don’t worry about money or anything else materialistic, it can be replaced, but you only have one life.

'If you need help, call the police or your local Domestic Violence Resource Center. I’ve listed the contact information for The National Domestic Violence Center, it doesn’t matter what city or state you’re in, they’ll assist you with the help you need.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline: (phone) 1-800-799-7233 (website) thehotline.org

Sincerely & with much love,

F.C.