The Wife Vs. The Other Woman

The Wife

It’s 2 a.m. and the opposite side of your bed is vacant and cold. You've sent the “where are you” and “what time will you be home” text messages hours ago and still haven't gotten a reply. Your phone calls are being answered by a voicemail and you've left so many messages that the box has reached its maximum capacity. Nerves have your stomach hurting so bad you don’t know if your dinner is going to come up or out. You want to believe that your husband, boyfriend or significant other is out with his friends, locked up or possibly in a car accident because you're too naïve to bear the truth.

You're angry, but with whom? Him for not cherishing what the two of you have enough to remain faithful and come home at a decent hour? Are you pissed with her because even
though she don’t know you personally, everyone in town knows this man is your husband but she insist on sleeping with him? You run to social networks and bash her subliminally or perhaps directly to let her know that you're aware of their dirty little secret. Then you look in the mirror and realize you're upset with YOU! See, this isn't the first time he’s cheated and unless you’re leaving, you know it won't be the last. Still you refuse to walk away because you've invested too much time into your marriage to let another woman deprive you of the life you've built. You want her to feel like a fool since you know he’s not going to leave you but deep down you know you're the sucker for not being courageous enough to leave him.

How many times are you going to excuse the infidelity before you decide enough is enough? How many nights do you have to sleep alone before you allow yourself to accept what’s right in front of you? One day you're going to look in the mirror and realize you deserve so much better than what you've been settling for. Until that day comes you'll be crying, depressed, on an emotional roller coaster waiting for the “love of your life” to wake up and appreciate what he have at home.

The Other Woman

Its 2 a.m. and you're lying awake nestled in the warmth provided by arms of the man you love, staring out into the open darkness, knowing he'll be departing soon. You never intended for things to go this far and certainly didn't plan to fall in love with another woman’s husband. Your mind knows you need to put this fire out but your heart can't grasp reality of the situation. The funniest, nevertheless saddest, thing about this whole situation is you don't want him for yourself. You definitely don't expect him to leave his wife for you. You know regardless of how you feel about one another, it would never work. Honestly, you want out but you're in too deep. He’s her husband and your man, but he’s single.

The passion you share with this man is unlike anything you've ever experienced in previous relationships. He made love to your mind before he even touched you physically, he had you right where he wanted you to be… caught up. When he call at midnight to say he’s coming over, you get yourself together in hurry to look presentable. Even though you pulled a twelve hour shift at work, came home to tend to your own children and had to get right back up at seven the next morning to do it all over again, you wanted to see him, needed him because your body ache for his touch. You needed him because you loved him. He was the first thing you thought about in the morning and your last thought at night. This man had so much power over your heart that he haunted you in your dreams. “After tonight, I’m done” that’s what you tell yourself… until the next time.

How long are you going to allow this superficial relationship to last? He told you from the beginning he was married, you made the decision to let him in.  A woman thinks of a man as her mate based on the way he make her feel. So although you hurt for the wife he has at home, you can’t walk away because this is the only man, besides your father, that has the ability to make you feel like you're the only woman in the world when the two of you are together. One day you'll look in the mirror and realize you deserve so much better than what you've been settling for. Until that day comes you'll be crying, depressed, on an emotional roller coaster missing out on the “love of your life” because you're too insecure to free yourself from the hold someone else’s husband have on you.

The Bottom Line

The original title I chose was “3 sides” but I remembered a wise man telling me “A woman don’t know anything about being a man”. I only speak from my personal experiences and I've never been a man so I couldn't include “His Story”. We witness these scenarios playing out every day through our sisters, best friends etc… Most of us are living this hell ourselves. This man has so much control over the two of you that he’s able to come and go as he please knowing you'll both pick up the phone and answer the door. We're so quick to attack the next woman but regardless of what side of the fence you're on, you lose. The woman who wins is she who’s able to pull herself together, put on her favorite pair of stilettos, apply her boldest shade of lipstick, and walk away with whatever dignity she has left… I WON!

Sincerely,

 F.C. (The Champ)